Cryptoland: Unrolling my livetweets of the video from hell
by Molly White on
Here's an easier-to-follow version of my tweet thread about the absolute fever dream that is the "Cryptoland" promotional video.
If you got a kick out of this, you might like my project:
Web3 Is Going Great.
there are few things i want less
these people are going to die on this island aren't they
end my suffering
"so, are you coming to the vladimir club party tonight?"
"yeah! just for cryptolander NFT holders, right?"
we now meet connie (so like... con?), the anthropomorphic coin
at this point in the video i was thinking the same.
we've finally gotten to the end of the animated video.
"now we're going to enter into a very, very, very exciting phase, which is migrating v1 into the physical world, v2"
so i guess that's what they did with the $500k that kyle chasse mentioned at the beginning of the video
[Quoted tweet by Grady Booch]
Oh. My. God.
I have no words.
As someone who lives on an island, I have to ask: where do they put services such as sanitation and electricity? How does one get food to the island? Where do the people who provide services for all the cryptofanatics live?
like... tax haven? non-extradition haven?
well this "Cryptolander" apparently hasn't bothered to even ask where the island is
[Quoted tweet by @MadBastard_v2]
Okay, so I did a little looking up, and apparently, the island that they're planning on using for this is Nananu-i-cake, in Fiji.
Looks like a nice place. Except it's a tiny island. Not even a mile across it's widest part.
And.... some people live there already.
now hang on, what happened to the lambos??
what could go wrong
i'm sure they're from there or something, not because it's a tax haven that's been home to several crypto scams
i do not wish to know what crypto smells like
do not take your eyes off your portfolio.
in case their target demographic was not already painfully apparent
not a tribute to the victims of the scam, a tribute to the scam itself. classy stuff.
i assume the sounds of nature in this case also include the bros screaming "to the moon!" outside the studio
Fijian people are among the most welcoming and nice in the world. They have a kind nature and an amazing and very interesting culture."
gross colonizer bullshit, who could've guessed
* Development potential"
no further information on this whatsoever.
"stop spreading FUD!", the rallying cry of crypto scammers everywhere
[Quoted tweet by Hahaitsfunny]
Lol... Hey @cryptoland - you got anything to say about this? One of the staff you advertise on your website is not affiliated with your project at all. Sounds like a scam to me!
[Quoted tweet by kamilabianchi]
Hello, you have been using my Seagull Rig to advertise your product. This is not authorised. Can you please remove it from all your videos/ campaigns?
the video is also available on the wayback machine, though their player can be slow and they are more susceptible to takedowns: (link)
Disclosures for my work and writing pertaining to cryptocurrencies and web3 can be found here.